“There’s nothing worse than late-night hunger with nothing in the freezer. After a night out, the desire for pizza and fries is real — and now TOMBSTONE® has you covered. The brand is taking two fan-favorite bar foods to the next level with its boldest creation yet: TOMBSTONE® French Fry Style Crust Pizza. This potato-powered crust brings crispy, cheesy, golden goodness to every bite – built to fuel your hunger pangs and late-night adventures,” says a press release from Tombstone frozen pizza heavily implying you need to be drunk and/or high to enjoy their newest product.
Continued: “With a pizza-fry’d crust baked to crispy perfection, this gluten-free pizza gives fans a bold new way to enjoy classic bar foods, and is available in two delicious varieties that are full on flavor: TOMBSTONE® French Fry Style Crust Pizza – Loaded Bacon Cheddar: The delicious crust is made with potato, covered in a gooey cheddar cheese sauce and loaded with mozzarella and cheddar cheeses plus a bacon and pork belly blend for the perfect bite every time. TOMBSTONE® French Fry Style Crust Pizza – Chili Cheese: The mouthwatering potato-based crust is covered in a hamburger chili cheese sauce and topped with mozzarella and cheddar cheeses, red onion and parsley for the ultimate comfort food experience.” Holy fuck. May God have mercy on us all.